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The Science Behind Break-Ups

Divorce - Sad young couple holding billboard sign with break love heart, concept for divorce

Breaking up is never an easy or comfortable situation. Did you know that your brain might even think it’s dealing with a cocaine addiction? #Mindblown. Hosts Chuck Bryant and Josh Clark from the podcast series Stuff You Should Know dive deep into the science behind post-relationship behaviors and give insight on coping mechanisms and self-care.

#StuffYouShouldKnow

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36 Comments

  1. Vickie R Parks April 24, 2019

    I left my husband December 16th and moved out and have my own apartment which I truly love I have no social social life and no friends just work and watch news would like to have some of a social life but men or not trustworthy that I have met.

    Reply
    1. Ian May 16, 2019

      Thats messed up ive never cheated on my girl and she has had sex 100s of times during our relationship just shows wveryone is different

    2. Marie-Antoinette C Bates June 12, 2019

      Hi Vicki! I completely agree with you. I’m on my way there myself. It’s seems like a good idea to me to stingle. More peace more freedom. And you can be the real you. Sometimes we as Women, get lost in the relationship. Kudos to you.

    3. diane June 25, 2019

      I’m dealing with a break up too. It is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made and I still wonder if I made the right decision but my relationship was tearing me down so much. I hope things work out for you.

    4. Sheryl July 3, 2019

      I totally agree that after a breakup it’s so hard to trust again.
      I’m in a similar situation … thought leaving would make me happy but I am not….. instead, I’m falling into depresssion.

  2. Mark frohriep May 22, 2019

    Do I cry so much

    Reply
  3. Mark frohriep May 22, 2019

    I did everything in the relationship but the only thing I did not do I give my other half a special feeling

    Reply
  4. Gavin May 24, 2019

    I’m 12 I just delt with a break up and I can’t stop crying can someone help.

    Reply
    1. John June 6, 2019

      Same I really don’t know what to do just get your mind of off it and do other stuff that makes you happy

      1. Maddie July 2, 2019

        So i just broke up with my bf of about three months, im 15 but he was mocking me because i was uncomfortable with what he wanted to do and there was some trust issues and i felt i didnt show enough affection. I feel bad because he begged for a second chance and said i was the one but i already broke up with him and i cant take him back. Any tips to get over him?

    2. Aidan June 13, 2019

      I’m dealing with the same thing ???

      1. Shelby Douglas June 14, 2019

        I’m 16 and have my first broken heart….the guy cheated on me after dating me for less than a week and after me waiting 2yrs for him to get out of fostercare….any advice on how to move on? Bc I can’t stop crying

    3. Abby June 14, 2019

      Omg, I hope you see this.. my boyfriend just broke up with me today. And I can’t stop crying. I love him, but I was the one who made the mistake.

    4. Lora June 24, 2019

      I’m 9 and I just broke up with my boyfriend really I feel good about it he was rude.

      1. Nicollette June 30, 2019

        Me and my ex have broken up after 2 years of being with each other. & just about 3 weeks ago she’s vein seeing someone else and they are getting serious already. My heart literally hurts, sometimes I don’t wanna get out of bed sometimes I don’t. I will spend the whole day in my room mostly crying m. My thoughts are getting so bad sometimes I feel like I could just roll over and die. They’ve started posting each other on social media. It hurts so bad 🙁

  5. jennifer June 2, 2019

    I was broke up with. and a week later ended up in hospital with life threatening illness and i thought he’d care to see me but he didnt. that hurt more then the break up.
    trust nobody!!

    Reply
    1. Victoria June 26, 2019

      Jennifer, whatever you think you had with this guy wasn’t real. He is disgusting to not at least check on you while in the hospital. There are people out there who ONLY care about themselves, it’s their world and you just live in it.

  6. Sunny June 2, 2019

    My boyfriend and I had many problems tbh. The first 3 months were the best ever. My trust issues kicked in because I was afraid of losing him. I started to think he was going to leave me or fall for another girl. We had a lot of problems after that. He was one of those people who would leave when problems happened. He would go and ask other people for advice. Later during this month so problem popped up. People said they hated him because of me venting and asking for advice. They said I lied and accused him of cheating one me. I never did either and he believed them. Now he thinks I’m a liar and manipulative. He left me just 2 days ago and I’ve cried my heart out so many times and I don’t know what to say. When I finally left him because I couldn’t be friends with him anymore he changed his pfp on social media to another girl and It broke my heart. Does this mean he was cheating on me or he didn’t love me? I need help. I keep sending him paragraphs saying I miss him and basically begging him to come back

    Reply
  7. Kee Bee June 3, 2019

    Hey I’m 22 yrs old I feel broken my inside feels empty I work 5 days a week go to school and run my own business I feel so broken I lost my mom I have no one to express myself to I need some help

    Reply
  8. Laureen June 4, 2019

    I never really liked the boys in my school but than came a new boy, he was cute and all. We started texting cause I wanted to get to know him and I felt bad cause he didn’t have many friends. Well we started to text everyday for months, ig u could say we had a thing but sadly it ended a couple weeks ago. We are both moving and he turned out to be a player. Anyways the point is I still care about him and can’t get my mind off him, I don’t want to start texting him so how can I forget about him?

    Reply
  9. Andy June 4, 2019

    My girlfriend who I love very very much all of a sudden broke up with me by surprise. She is the reason I was able to move on with my life after my late wife passed away. as I said I loved loved loved my girlfriend so so much and cry myself to sleep every night!

    Reply
  10. Alison June 7, 2019

    Im through a break up and it happened a few days ago I’m only a young teenager but I was this guy for over a year and a half and we had our entire life planned out I really loved him and now my heart is broken and I can’t stop crying

    Reply
    1. Tyler June 25, 2019

      I just had that happen to me to but the best thing is just keep your head up if he doesn’t want to listen then he might just not be the one for you a relationship just can’t be one sided

  11. Brittiney June 8, 2019

    Been ruff the tears, the emotions, the heart ache .. will it ever stop ????had to walk away because the lies the hurt and pain , when I no I did everything in my powers to keep us happy . and then they just betray you like u never met anything to them is jus so unbelievable .

    Reply
  12. Keira June 8, 2019

    I just got dumped last month. I had a seven month relationship with my boyfriend. I know it wasn’t that long but it was my first one, so I tried to make it special. Everyone says I was spreading rumors and talking shit about him but I wasn’t. He found out and dumped me in a paragraph telling me how awful of a person I am. He continues to text me to this day on all the rumors I “spread”. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve cried every night until 3AM. I’m broken, he was my best friend too. One friendship and relationship is down the fucking drain. 🙁

    Reply
  13. Amanda June 18, 2019

    I broke up with my boyfriend last night. It was hard to balance the stress of us growing apart and me going to a university in the fall. We were together for 3 years. I really care about him, but felt as if I was delaying the inevitable by staying so I finally ended it. I know he’s hurt and I’m hurt too. I can’t understand why some people have no problem hurting the other… We were best friends and I still care for him deeply. I’ve been crying all night. I keep wondering if I made the right choice, but I know it wouldn’t work, especially now, if I went back. ?

    Reply
    1. Taylor June 22, 2019

      Hey I’m facing the same situation… are you thinking after both of you have some time away… to be mutual friends after a couple months to heal?

  14. JoJo June 22, 2019

    My ex bf just told me on 6/17 to leave him alone so I take it as we’re over. I’m so confused. We had been together 10 months and this last month was horrible, constant fighting which he blames all on me. His big thing was that he said I acted like I was single. Idk how, we were together almost everyday! He said he still loves me and cares about me but he’s tired of me hurting him. I want him back so bad and idk what to do anymore.

    Reply
  15. Samantha June 23, 2019

    We’ve been dating for about 3 or 4 months. It was soo amazing and we really had a special connection. Unfortunately, my boyfriend suffered from depression, so it had a strain on our relationship at times. But even so, I always tried to be there for him and understand him. We trusted each other, we’d go to each other when we had problems. The last few weeks of our relationship was terrible though, because he was going through his own problems with life, he’d often take his frustrations out on me unintentionally, which would hurt me. He realized it was unfair to me and how he kept hurting me, so he decided that it was best for us to break up. I really didn’t want to, but it made sense when he explained. We agreed that we can’t have a relationship mow because we are going through things. It still upsets me though, although we fought in the last few weeks of our relationship, it wasn’t the real us. The real us was full of love and trust. It really makes me sad because I am going to miss those times before those fights. We said we might be friends afterwards, but I still miss him. What do I do? I’ve been crying nonstop, and this just happened yesterday. Also, this is my first relationship and break up aswell. Please help.

    Reply
    1. John July 29, 2019

      Did you sleep with him? That’s the real problem.

  16. Jay June 26, 2019

    Life sucks ?

    Reply
  17. Angalee June 27, 2019

    My now ex-boyfriend and I had been together for almost 5 years. I cheated on him after I found him exchanging photos with some girl he met on tinder. We are still living together and he holds the cheating against me so tough but doesn’t acknowledge what he did let alone think what he did was wrong. I cry every night and have dreams in hopes we may get back together. The other day I found out he was hanging out with a girl coworker alone. This is the worst pain and I don’t wish it upon anyone.

    Reply
  18. Jessica Francis July 21, 2019

    Ok…I don’t like seeing that a 9 year old replied to this…But …the 9 year is the wisest of All :).. OH..if we could all just hold on to that childlike thinking…it could Really serve us at times!!

    Reply
  19. Jacob Gomez August 5, 2019

    My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday after a 2 year relationship we had plans for out future she was going to be my prom date it’s my last year in high school and now I’m just broken we talked about moving out she gave me no reason why she broke up with all she said was I was toxic and she talked down on me and I feel useless now I need to know how to get over this cuz I loved this girl so much and like I cry knowing that I won’t be the one for her

    Reply
  20. CO August 7, 2019

    I have been dating this one guy. He was cute and loved me for me. We had been dating for about 1 year. He was the first guy I truly loved. Then out of the blue, last week. He broke up with me. He couldn’t give me a reason other than he had a “feeling” it wouldn’t work. When I asked if he still loved me, he said yes. He still missed me. I said then let’s work this out. He kept saying we couldn’t and he was sorry. My heart has been broken for about a week. Plus, I have to see him everyday at work. It sucks. I just miss him and I still love him. But he didnt want to fix us. He isn’t a bad person tho. He is smart and kind. When we were together, he didnt treat me bad. We were happy. But then all of sudden. A break up came. It seems he was almost forced into it, but he didnt give any details.

    Reply
  21. Jeff August 14, 2019

    All man are not the same , just as well as my heart and 10 years was crushed by a woman. But i DON’T think ALL women are like that.

    Reply

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