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Raquel Bessudo’s Perpetua Is Coming To Market And We Know the Side Effects


Joan Rivers wannabe, Raquel Bessudo is breaking into the beauty biz with a new facial cream line named “Perpetua.”  We can’t be more excited for the soda queen to start peddling a new product line contradictory to her wealth portfolio. Doris alludes to her mom ‘finally giving her the secret to her eternal youth,’ but if my mom wouldn’t give me the name of her plastic surgeon, I would be seriously pissed.

While we are hoping Perpetua will give us a freshly botoxed glow, we have yet to find her products online. Bad move, ‘daughtager’ Doris. But we are pretty confident the bottle will read something like:

Prior to application you must drink Jarritos soda, look in the mirror and feel shame for drinking said soda, wash your face, dry face with the dirty money from your wallet, look back in the mirror and repeat “I’m not hungry,” then apply an exuberant amount of face cream.

Side effects include:

Unwarranted fat shaming, a hankering for mango, making children cry, tactless banter, lack of emotion, abrasive tendencies, and most of all the need for extravagaannnceee!

To watch more of the flamboyant personalities on Mexican Dynasties, tune to Bravo on Tequila Tuesdays @ 10 p.m.


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  1. Kathleen Douglas May 3, 2019

    I LOVE Raquel Bessudo!
    She is a beautiful woman and doesn’t deserve the way you’re treating her!

    1. Shantell June 6, 2019

      Yeah, this was rude.

    2. FloridaMomof3 June 19, 2019

      Terrible article! I am not her biggest fan but, this was harsh and not necessary. I’m sure you thought it was funny but it’s actually the complete opposite.

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